prayer request for Cal Tameler

 Please pray for CAL  TAMELER who has a very serious eye infection and is doing drops hourly to save his eye.

Change to calendar for Saturday

There is no Vendor Fair, bake Sale, and Luncheon this Saturday.  (That was last Saturday)
 
There is Patriot Packaging at the Armory Saturday morning from 9-11am!!  Please join us for that!!  We will be putting together special care packages for troops overseas.   
 
 
 

 

From: pbueltmann@centurytel.net
To: revklaus@hotmail.com
Subject: Re: Daily Email: Thursday, November 12, 2015
Date: Thu, 12 Nov 2015 13:19:15 -0600

Pastor, the Vendors sale is still on your agenda.  Hope no one shows up as we held it last week.  Pamb

Sent: Thursday, November 12, 2015 10:22 AM
Subject: Daily Email: Thursday, November 12, 2015

DEVOTION: 
 
Mark 13:1-13English Standard Version (ESV)

13 And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down."

And as he sat on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, "Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when all these things are about to be accomplished?" And Jesus began to say to them, "See that no one leads you astray. Many will come in my name, saying, 'I am he!' and they will lead many astray. And when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. This must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains.
"But be on your guard. For they will deliver you over to councils, and you will be beaten in synagogues, and you will stand before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them. 10 And the gospel must first be proclaimed to all nations. 11 And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit. 12 And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. 13 And you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.
 
 
What are you most proud of when it comes to your church?  Are you proud of the beautiful architecture of the building?  Are you proud of the wonderful pastor you have?  Are you proud of the nice people?  Are you proud that you have the best potlucks of any church in town? 
 
While all off these are good things, they are not what makes or breaks a church, at least not a real church.  What if the building burns down or gets old?  What if the best cook moves away?  What if you get into a fight with another member or even a group of members?  What if the pastor leaves and another one comes in that isn't as cool as Pastor Klaustermeier?  haha
 
Your pride, if you want to call it that, I'd prefer to call it CONFIDENCE has got to be in something more stable, more real, and more sustainable than a measly pastor or the last potluck you went to.  It needs to be based on the TRUTH!
 
When the disciples marveled at the big huge temple and how awesome it was, they were expecting Jesus to say, "Yes, you should be proud of it", or "It is pretty spectacular, isn't it?"   Instead, he tells them that one day that temple is going to be gone, and in fact, in 70A.D. it was destroyed.  He then proceeds to tell them that they are going to suffer a lot for their faith.  Great news, huh? 
 
Our faith has got to be able to stand the test.  It isn't going to stand any test if it isn't based on real hard truth.  If it is based on the Way, the Truth, and the Life it will stand any and all tests!  Alleluia!
 
Let us pray:  Lord God make me put my faith solely in you and nothing else!  On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  Amen.
_________________________________________________________________________________________
CALENDAR:
Wed- Choir 6pm; Building Expansion Meeting 7pm
Sat-  Worship 5
Sun- Worship 8:30 and 11; Sunday school 9:45; Elder's meeting noon

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

WORSHIP WORKERS:  
Acolyte-  8:30- Gus Klaustermeier ; 11- Jacob Cluver

Ushers- Marv Hendershot, Don Luebke, Dave Callies, Don Nolte

Altar- Set up- Cheri' Hofeldt; Clean up- Sandy Robine

Communion Assistants- Sat- Randy Fischer; 8:30- John Hachtel; 11- Jim Rahn

Greeters- 8:30- Marv and Molly Hendershot; 11- Charlie and Lynn Figura

Lay readers- Sat- Judy Koprowski 8:30- Tim Linke 11- Jacob Winn

Sat. Pianist- Kathy Barrow

Organist-  Rachel Fisher

Projectionists: Sat. Pam Bueltmann, 8:30- Julie Schaumberg, 11- Zack Hoelscher

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NEWS!!!!  PLEASE READ IT ALL!!!!
NEXT BUILDING MEETING WILL BE THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10 AT 7PM!!
At our meeting last night we went through quite a few concerns and how to proceed to the next step. 
 
Before the next meeting Elmer Wind is going to put together a few different master plans for us to review and discuss.  Once we get a master plan decided on by the majority of the people in attendance at the next meeting we will then bring it to a special voter's meeting and have the voters approve it.  After the master plan has been approved we will move on to developing a finance committee that will research and plan exactly how much of the master plan we can afford to build at the current time.  Once that is accomplished we will go to the voters assembly again to approve the building of what we can afford.  After that we will make plans to begin the building process. 
 
I'm getting excited as I continue to see progress.  I see the wheels turning slowly and the rudder is moving this whole big ship!
 
St. John's is growing rapidly and is in need of upgrades to the current structure as well as more space!  That' is what we are working on accomplishing in the very near future!  Thanks be to God!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
VOTER'S MEETING SUNDAY, NOV. 15 at 9:45!!!
Items on agenda so far:
1. Budget
2. Elections of officers and board members
3. Vote on Christmas Eve services and times
 
Each congregation of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS) is asked for nominations for Synod Vice Presidents and for Mission board members both ordained pastors and lay people.   While it is not a requirement of us, it is good for us to participate as much as we are able since we are a part of the Synod and we have a say in what goes on among us. 
 
Below are a list of available positions:
1st Vice President
Central Region Vice President
Central Region Board for National Missions (Lay person)
Central Region Board for National Missions (ordained)
Central Region Board for International Missions (Lay person)
Central region Board for International Missions (ordained)
  
Note: "Central region" basically refers to the Midwest. There will be one vice president and one board for each region of the USA.  
  
If you know of anyone who would be interested or capable of filling any of these positions please let me know, and at our congregational voters meeting on the 15th we will nominate him or her. 

 
_____________________________________________________________________________
CONFIRMATION KIDS ARE SELLING TJ's PIZZA AND OTHER GOODIES FOR THEIR ANNUAL TRIP TO CAMP WINDERMERE FOR THE JR. HI. RETREAT !
Reply to this email or text me at 636-359-1061 to place your order.  Make checks out to St. John's.
Here's the menu:
 
PIZZAS:
3-pack of personal pizzas $18.50 (Deluxe $20),
12 " St. Louis Style  -
      $8.50--Triple cheese, Italian Sausage, Pepperoni
      $9- Italian Sausage and Pepperoni, Italian Sausage and Bacon, Pepperoni and Bacon,
      $10- Lotsa meat (Italian Sausage, Pepperoni, Ham, bacon, Beef); All Bacon;  Deluxe (Ham, Italian sausage, pepperoni, peppers);       Supreme- (beef, bacon, pepperoni, peppers, mushrooms, onions)
 
GOURMET PIZZAS $10 each
Breakfast Pizza (Bacon, sausage, egg, and cheese
BBQ Chicken-
Nacho- beef, onion, olives, peppers, chips
Garlic Chicken
Alfredo chicken (White sauce, broccoli, mushrooms)
Buffalo chicken
White sausage (Italian sausage and white sauce)
Veggie
Breakfast pizza with thick crust
 
12" TJ's Thick Crust (Mozzarella cheese)
$9- Triple cheese, Pepperoni
$11 Deluxe, Lotsa meat
 
Coffee $10 for a 12 oz. bag
Regular grind, decaf grind, whole bean
 
Frozen Desserts
Dutch Apple pie $10
Original gooey butter cake 12.50
French Cream Cheesecake $16.50
Caramel Braided Bread $11
Strawberry Cream Cheese braided bread $11
 
Cookie Dough $10
Chocolate Chunk
Double chocolate
Sugar
Oatmeal cranberry
White chocolate macadamia $12
 
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
LADIES AID IS SELLING CHRISTMAS CARDS FOR $5 a BOX!!  
Once they're gone, that's it.  There won't be another order when they run out!  Get them today!  They're in the basement and you can give money to whoever is in the office. 
___________________________________________________________________________________________
PLEASE ORDER SCRIP !!!!! 
A NEW AND EASY FUNDRAISING OPPORTUNITY!!! 
 
The order forms are on the table in the narthex!  Just about every store that you can think of is on the list!  Use the cards just like you would use a debit/credit card and help St. John's make  A LOT of money!

Place your order, along with your check, made payable to St. Johns, in the "Bob the Builder" box. 
  
 ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
OPERATION BACKPACK FOR NOVEMBER is INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SNACK AND OATMEAL PACKETS!!!
Many children in our community are very poor.  They are able to get some of their meals at school during the week, but often go hungry on weekends.  Operation backpack is a way that our community has decided to help these kids. 
 
Every month throughout the school year, each church participating will take one food item and collect just that food item.  At the end of the month the food will be delivered to school.  The school officials along with volunteers will distribute the food to kids backpacks to take home.   
____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
UNMARKED BLUE ENVELOPE CONTRIBUTIONS ARE GOING TO THE BUILDING EXPANSION PROGRAM
If you'd like it to go to the DCE fund you need to mark it for that!  Please make sure you mark the ENVELOPE clearly for the DCE PROGRAM!

________________________________________________________________________________________
DO YOU HAVE A KROGER CARD?  ENROLL IT IN THE COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM!!!
Register it online www.krogercommunityrewards.com and have it swiped each time you shop to earn money for Little Lambs. 
 

__________________________________________________________________________________________
GENERAL PRAYERS:
For DONNNA LINDSEY'S DAD, who is undergoing tests for an unknown illness and for celebration on his birthday. 
 
For NOAH ROGERS, a 1 1/2 year old, who is dealing with cancer and is going through is second bone marrow transplant. He is a grandson of a coworker of Jim Rahn.
 
For DIANNE HANCE who is dealing with two different infections and kidney failure.
 
For KARSON OWENBY, great grandson of Cal and Betty Tameler, who is dealing with an unknown illness that had him hospitalized for a couple days.  He is doing better slowly.  
 
For CAL TAMELER as he continues to heal after a cornea transplant.
 
For DON PANHORST who is undergoing his second round of chemo treatments today.   
 
For DENISE SCHLESSELMANN as she is in the Czech Republic to continue her mission work.
 
For DAVE AND CAROL KOHRS, who are BOTH on hospice care.
 
For WILMA WEIGLE as she continues to deal with the after effects of a severe stroke almost two years ago.  




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Sermon from 11/8/15

 Confidence in Christ!
 
https://youtu.be/lOjKl3T_2zY

Daily Email: Thursday, November 12, 2015

DEVOTION: 
 
Mark 13:1-13English Standard Version (ESV)

13 And as he came out of the temple, one of his disciples said to him, "Look, Teacher, what wonderful stones and what wonderful buildings!" And Jesus said to him, "Do you see these great buildings? There will not be left here one stone upon another that will not be thrown down."

And as he sat on the Mount of Olives opposite the temple, Peter and James and John and Andrew asked him privately, "Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign when all these things are about to be accomplished?" And Jesus began to say to them, "See that no one leads you astray. Many will come in my name, saying, 'I am he!' and they will lead many astray. And when you hear of wars and rumors of wars, do not be alarmed. This must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be earthquakes in various places; there will be famines. These are but the beginning of the birth pains.

"But be on your guard. For they will deliver you over to councils, and you will be beaten in synagogues, and you will stand before governors and kings for my sake, to bear witness before them. 10 And the gospel must first be proclaimed to all nations. 11 And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand what you are to say, but say whatever is given you in that hour, for it is not you who speak, but the Holy Spirit. 12 And brother will deliver brother over to death, and the father his child, and children will rise against parents and have them put to death. 13 And you will be hated by all for my name's sake. But the one who endures to the end will be saved.

 

 

What are you most proud of when it comes to your church?  Are you proud of the beautiful architecture of the building?  Are you proud of the wonderful pastor you have?  Are you proud of the nice people?  Are you proud that you have the best potlucks of any church in town? 

 

While all off these are good things, they are not what makes or breaks a church, at least not a real church.  What if the building burns down or gets old?  What if the best cook moves away?  What if you get into a fight with another member or even a group of members?  What if the pastor leaves and another one comes in that isn't as cool as Pastor Klaustermeier?  haha

 

Your pride, if you want to call it that, I'd prefer to call it CONFIDENCE has got to be in something more stable, more real, and more sustainable than a measly pastor or the last potluck you went to.  It needs to be based on the TRUTH!

 

When the disciples marveled at the big huge temple and how awesome it was, they were expecting Jesus to say, "Yes, you should be proud of it", or "It is pretty spectacular, isn't it?"   Instead, he tells them that one day that temple is going to be gone, and in fact, in 70A.D. it was destroyed.  He then proceeds to tell them that they are going to suffer a lot for their faith.  Great news, huh? 

 

Our faith has got to be able to stand the test.  It isn't going to stand any test if it isn't based on real hard truth.  If it is based on the Way, the Truth, and the Life it will stand any and all tests!  Alleluia!

 

Let us pray:  Lord God make me put my faith solely in you and nothing else!  On Christ the solid rock I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.  Amen.

_________________________________________________________________________________________

CALENDAR:
Wed- Choir 6pm; Building Expansion Meeting 7pm
Sat-  Vendor Fair, Bake Sale, Luncheon 9am-2pm;  Worship 5
Sun- Worship 8:30 and 11; Sunday school 9:45; Elder's meeting noon

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

WORSHIP WORKERS:  
Acolyte-  8:30- Gus Klaustermeier ; 11- Jacob Cluver

Ushers- Marv Hendershot, Don Luebke, Dave Callies, Don Nolte

Altar- Set up- Cheri' Hofeldt; Clean up- Sandy Robine

Communion Assistants- Sat- Randy Fischer; 8:30- John Hachtel; 11- Jim Rahn

Greeters- 8:30- Marv and Molly Hendershot; 11- Charlie and Lynn Figura

Lay readers- Sat- Judy Koprowski 8:30- Tim Linke 11- Jacob Winn

Sat. Pianist- Kathy Barrow

Organist-  Rachel Fisher

Projectionists: Sat. Pam Bueltmann, 8:30- Julie Schaumberg, 11- Zack Hoelscher

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NEWS!!!!  PLEASE READ IT ALL!!!!
NEXT BUILDING MEETING WILL BE THURSDAY, DECEMBER 10 AT 7PM!!
At our meeting last night we went through quite a few concerns and how to proceed to the next step. 
 
Before the next meeting Elmer Wind is going to put together a few different master plans for us to review and discuss.  Once we get a master plan decided on by the majority of the people in attendance at the next meeting we will then bring it to a special voter's meeting and have the voters approve it.  After the master plan has been approved we will move on to developing a finance committee that will research and plan exactly how much of the master plan we can afford to build at the current time.  Once that is accomplished we will go to the voters assembly again to approve the building of what we can afford.  After that we will make plans to begin the building process. 
 
I'm getting excited as I continue to see progress.  I see the wheels turning slowly and the rudder is moving this whole big ship!
 
St. John's is growing rapidly and is in need of upgrades to the current structure as well as more space!  That' is what we are working on accomplishing in the very near future!  Thanks be to God!
____________________________________________________________________________________________________
VOTER'S MEETING SUNDAY, NOV. 15 at 9:45!!!
Items on agenda so far:
1. Budget
2. Elections of officers and board members
3. Vote on Christmas Eve services and times
 
Each congregation of the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod (LCMS) is asked for nominations for Synod Vice Presidents and for Mission board members both ordained pastors and lay people.   While it is not a requirement of us, it is good for us to participate as much as we are able since we are a part of the Synod and we have a say in what goes on among us. 
 
Below are a list of available positions:
1st Vice President
Central Region Vice President
Central Region Board for National Missions (Lay person)
Central Region Board for National Missions (ordained)
Central Region Board for International Missions (Lay person)
Central region Board for International Missions (ordained)
  
Note: "Central region" basically refers to the Midwest. There will be one vice president and one board for each region of the USA.  
  
If you know of anyone who would be interested or capable of filling any of these positions please let me know, and at our congregational voters meeting on the 15th we will nominate him or her. 

 
_____________________________________________________________________________
CONFIRMATION KIDS ARE SELLING TJ's PIZZA AND OTHER GOODIES FOR THEIR ANNUAL TRIP TO CAMP WINDERMERE FOR THE JR. HI. RETREAT !
Reply to this email or text me at 636-359-1061 to place your order.  Make checks out to St. John's.
Here's the menu:
 
PIZZAS:
3-pack of personal pizzas $18.50 (Deluxe $20),
12 " St. Louis Style  -
      $8.50--Triple cheese, Italian Sausage, Pepperoni
      $9- Italian Sausage and Pepperoni, Italian Sausage and Bacon, Pepperoni and Bacon,
      $10- Lotsa meat (Italian Sausage, Pepperoni, Ham, bacon, Beef); All Bacon;  Deluxe (Ham, Italian sausage, pepperoni, peppers);       Supreme- (beef, bacon, pepperoni, peppers, mushrooms, onions)
 
GOURMET PIZZAS $10 each
Breakfast Pizza (Bacon, sausage, egg, and cheese
BBQ Chicken-
Nacho- beef, onion, olives, peppers, chips
Garlic Chicken
Alfredo chicken (White sauce, broccoli, mushrooms)
Buffalo chicken
White sausage (Italian sausage and white sauce)
Veggie
Breakfast pizza with thick crust
 
12" TJ's Thick Crust (Mozzarella cheese)
$9- Triple cheese, Pepperoni
$11 Deluxe, Lotsa meat
 
Coffee $10 for a 12 oz. bag
Regular grind, decaf grind, whole bean
 
Frozen Desserts
Dutch Apple pie $10
Original gooey butter cake 12.50
French Cream Cheesecake $16.50
Caramel Braided Bread $11
Strawberry Cream Cheese braided bread $11
 
Cookie Dough $10
Chocolate Chunk
Double chocolate
Sugar
Oatmeal cranberry
White chocolate macadamia $12
 
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
LADIES AID IS SELLING CHRISTMAS CARDS FOR $5 a BOX!!  
Once they're gone, that's it.  There won't be another order when they run out!  Get them today!  They're in the basement and you can give money to whoever is in the office. 
___________________________________________________________________________________________
PLEASE ORDER SCRIP !!!!! 
A NEW AND EASY FUNDRAISING OPPORTUNITY!!! 
 
The order forms are on the table in the narthex!  Just about every store that you can think of is on the list!  Use the cards just like you would use a debit/credit card and help St. John's make  A LOT of money!

Place your order, along with your check, made payable to St. Johns, in the "Bob the Builder" box. 
  
 ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
OPERATION BACKPACK FOR NOVEMBER is INDIVIDUALLY WRAPPED SNACK AND OATMEAL PACKETS!!!
Many children in our community are very poor.  They are able to get some of their meals at school during the week, but often go hungry on weekends.  Operation backpack is a way that our community has decided to help these kids. 
 
Every month throughout the school year, each church participating will take one food item and collect just that food item.  At the end of the month the food will be delivered to school.  The school officials along with volunteers will distribute the food to kids backpacks to take home.   
____________________________________________________________________________________________________ 
UNMARKED BLUE ENVELOPE CONTRIBUTIONS ARE GOING TO THE BUILDING EXPANSION PROGRAM
If you'd like it to go to the DCE fund you need to mark it for that!  Please make sure you mark the ENVELOPE clearly for the DCE PROGRAM!

________________________________________________________________________________________
DO YOU HAVE A KROGER CARD?  ENROLL IT IN THE COMMUNITY REWARDS PROGRAM!!!
Register it online www.krogercommunityrewards.com and have it swiped each time you shop to earn money for Little Lambs. 
 

__________________________________________________________________________________________
GENERAL PRAYERS:
For DONNNA LINDSEY'S DAD, who is undergoing tests for an unknown illness and for celebration on his birthday. 
 
For NOAH ROGERS, a 1 1/2 year old, who is dealing with cancer and is going through is second bone marrow transplant. He is a grandson of a coworker of Jim Rahn.
 
For DIANNE HANCE who is dealing with two different infections and kidney failure.
 
For KARSON OWENBY, great grandson of Cal and Betty Tameler, who is dealing with an unknown illness that had him hospitalized for a couple days.  He is doing better slowly.  
 
For CAL TAMELER as he continues to heal after a cornea transplant.
 
For DON PANHORST who is undergoing his second round of chemo treatments today.   
 
For DENISE SCHLESSELMANN as she is in the Czech Republic to continue her mission work.
 
For DAVE AND CAROL KOHRS, who are BOTH on hospice care.
 
For WILMA WEIGLE as she continues to deal with the after effects of a severe stroke almost two years ago.  




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Funnies for the day

DEATH

> "DO
> YOU BELIEVE IN LIFE AFTER DEATH?" THE BOSS ASKED ONE OF
> HIS EMPLOYEES. 
> "YES, SIR," THE
> NEW EMPLOYEE REPLIED. 
> "WELL, THEN,
> THAT MAKES EVERYTHING JUST FINE," THE BOSS WENT ON.
> "AFTER YOU LEFT EARLY YESTERDAY TO GO TO YOUR
> GRANDMOTHER'S FUNERAL, SHE STOPPED IN TO SEE
> YOU!"
>  

> PALM
> SUNDAY 
> IT WAS
> PALM SUNDAY AND, BECAUSE OF A SORE THROAT, FIVE-YEAR-OLD
> JOHNNY STAYED HOME FROM CHURCH WITH A SITTER. WHEN THE
> FAMILY RETURNED HOME, THEY WERE CARRYING SEVERAL PALM
> BRANCHES. THE BOY ASKED WHAT THEY WERE FOR. "PEOPLE
> HELD THEM OVER JESUS' HEAD AS HE WALKED BY." 
> "WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT," THE BOY
> FUMED, "THE ONE SUNDAY I DON'T GO, HE SHOWS
> UP!"  

> CHILDREN'S
> SERMON 
> ONE
> EASTER SUNDAY MORNING AS THE MINISTER WAS PREACHING THE
> CHILDREN'S SERMON, HE REACHED INTO HIS BAG OF PROPS AND
> PULLED OUT AN EGG. HE POINTED AT THE EGG AND ASKED THE
> CHILDREN, "WHAT'S IN HERE?" "I
> KNOW!" A LITTLE BOY EXCLAIMED. "PANTYHOSE !!
> "  

> SUPPORT
> A FAMILY 
> THE
> PROSPECTIVE FATHER-IN-LAW ASKED, "YOUNG MAN, CAN YOU
> SUPPORT A FAMILY?" 
> THE SURPRISED
> GROOM-TO-BE REPLIED, "WELL, NO. I WAS JUST PLANNING TO
> SUPPORT YOUR DAUGHTER. THE REST OF YOU WILL HAVE TO FEND FOR
> YOURSELVES."  

> FIRST
> TIME USHERS 
> A LITTLE
> BOY IN CHURCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WATCHED AS THE USHERS
> PASSED AROUND THE OFFERING PLATES.
> WHEN THEY
> CAME NEAR HIS PEW, THE BOY SAID LOUDLY, "DON'T PAY
> FOR ME DADDY I'M UNDER FIVE."
>  
>  
>  
> CLIMB
> THE WALLS 
> "OH, I SURE AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU," THE
> LITTLE BOY SAID TO HIS GRANDMOTHER ON HIS MOTHER'S SIDE.
> "NOW MAYBE DADDY WILL DO THE TRICK HE HAS BEEN
> PROMISING US." 
> THE GRANDMOTHER WAS
> CURIOUS. "WHAT TRICK IS THAT?" SHE ASKED. 
> "I HEARD HIM TELL MOMMY THAT HE WOULD
> CLIMB THE WALLS IF YOU CAME TO VISIT," THE LITTLE BOY
> ANSWERED.  
>  
> THE
> WATER PISTOL 
> WHEN MY
> THREE-YEAR-OLD SON OPENED THE BIRTHDAY GIFT FROM HIS
> GRANDMOTHER, HE DISCOVERED A WATER PISTOL.. HE SQUEALED WITH
> DELIGHT AND HEADED FOR THE NEAREST SINK. 
> I
> WAS NOT SO PLEASED. I TURNED TO MOM AND SAID, "I'M
> SURPRISED AT YOU. DON'T YOU REMEMBER HOW WE USED TO
> DRIVE YOU CRAZY WITH WATER GUNS?" 
> MOM
> SMILED AND THEN REPLIED..... "I
> REMEMBER!!"  

> GRANDMA'S
> AGE 
> LITTLE JOHNNY ASKED HIS GRANDMA HOW OLD SHE
> WAS. 
> GRANDMA ANSWERED, "39 AND
> HOLDING." 
> JOHNNY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT,
> AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET
> GO?"