Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation

Something very funny to start your day!  We don't have any grandmas like this at St. John's do we? haha
 

 

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       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

 

.

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

I think I'm turning into grandma.

Helen

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

----- End forwarded message -----



--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 10:00:03 -0500
From: dickstuercke@mindspring.com
To: dickstuercke@mindspring.com
Subject: Fw: Fwd: Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation

 

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:51:17 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation
From: hmroppel@gmail.com
To: hmroppel@gmail.com

I think I'm turning into grandma.

Helen

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:51:17 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation
From: hmroppel@gmail.com
To: hmroppel@gmail.com

I think I'm turning into grandma.

Helen

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:51:17 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation
From: hmroppel@gmail.com
To: hmroppel@gmail.com

I think I'm turning into grandma.

Helen

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

--Forwarded Message Attachment--
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2014 20:51:17 -0500
Subject: Fwd: Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation
From: hmroppel@gmail.com
To: hmroppel@gmail.com

I think I'm turning into grandma.

Helen

 

---

 

                               

       Grandma's Thanksgiving Invitation....Priceless!

Dear Family,

I'm not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get what's left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You don't arrive at someone's house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives ...date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different This year because I have decided that 47% of you don't know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but I'll be gone soon and that will be your problem to deal with.

                                      House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.

 2. The "no cans for kids" rule still exists. We are using 2 liter Bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a child's cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and I'll be paying close attention to refills.

3. Chloe, last year we were at Trudy's house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right back out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. You've never been a good cook and you shouldn't bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.

4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.

5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. That's nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesn't change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease in it. That's why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthy... look at me. I've outlived almost everyone I know.

6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.

7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car.

8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.

9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the Kids. I have nice things and I don't put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and I'll watch my things.

10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that. Can you?

11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat:
You don't need to bring anything means you don't need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really, this doesn't have to be difficult.

12. Domino's and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and it's true now that you have kids.

13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.

The election is over so I'll watch what I say about that idiot, and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, we'll have a good time. If not, I'll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver.

I really mean all of the above.

Love You,

Grandma

Daily Devotion: Tuesday, September 30, 2014

DEVOTION:  Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good; his love endures forever.  Psalm 107:1
 
When I was a kid we would say the verse above at the end of every meal as a thank you prayer.  It is the perfect prayer to remind us of the goodness of God and the love that lasts well after the meal is done and the dishes are put in the dishwasher. 
 
It is a good thing to continually thank the Lord!  Why?  
Even if everything is going wrong and we are in utter pain and frustration, the Lord is good and His love endures forever. 
 
Even if we have sinned and our guilt is overwhelming us to the point that we just want to give up the fight, He is good and His love endures forever. 
 
Even if we are lonely beyond imagining and we just need someone to love, He is good and His love endures forever. 
 
Even when the whole world seems to be against you and you just can't even lift up your head, He is good and His love endures forever. 
 
And yes, even when everything is going well and you don't have a problem or a care in the world, He is good and His love endures forever!
 
He is the one constant in a constantly changing world.  He is the sure and solid rock on which we stand.  He is our hope, our future, and our eternal life.  He is everything!  AND HE IS GOOD!
 
Rest today in the Lord!  He is good and His love endures forever!
 
Prayer: Thank you O Lord!  You are good and Your Love endures forever!  Amen.
 
________________________________________________________________________________________________
YESTERDAY'S QUIZ:    What is a maskil in the Psalms? A literary or musical term for a Psalm that is meant to teach a lesson.

_________________________________________________________________________________

TODAY'S QUIZ: What is "Sheol"?

__________________________________________________________________________

CALENDAR:

Tues- Quilting 9-2; Bible study 11:30-12:15; worship band practice 6pm

Wed- Choir practice 7

Thurs- Alzheimers group 1pm; Karate 6:30pm
Sat- TFG Day trip to St Louis leaves at 7:45; Bible study 4pm; Worship 5
Sun- LWML Sunday worship 8:30; Bible Study and Sunday school 9:45; worship 11; Potluck and work day at noon
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WORSHIP WORKERS FOR THIS WEEK
Acolytes- 8:30- Patrick Schaumberg 11- John Pezold
Altar guild- Set up- Cheri' Hofeldt; Clean Up-- Pam Linke
Greeters- 8:30- John and Joanne Hachtel; 11- Doug and Ruth Walters
Communion Assistants- Sat-  Randy Sweet; 8:30- Rich Boeger; 11- Charlie Figura
Lay Readers- Sat- Randy Sweet, 8:30- Betty Schirr, 11- Kailyn Blechle
8:30 Ushers- Coleen Bottorff, Linda Callies, Betty Schirr, Wanda Turnure
Projectors- Sat-- Pam Bueltmann; 8:30- Terry McKenzie, 11- Cara Klaustermeier
Pianists/organists Sat- Barb Dreyer;  Sun- Melissa Pedersen  11am- Molly Hendershot
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NEWS:

POTLUCK AND WORK DAY THIS SUNDAY AT NOON!!!

We have lots of work to do and lots of things to get done.  Everyone can have a job to do!  If you haven't signed up please still come!!  Call the church office to let us know how many from your family are coming! 

 

JUST SHOW UP AND ENJOY GOOD FELLOWSHIP, GOOD FOOD, AND GOOD WORK!

 

Below are the projects that we will be working on at church
1. Dirt work in the swaile between the Linke's property and the parking lot
2. Work on the lights at the north end of the building
3. Trim bushes around church building
4. clean out storage areas by pavilion
5. narthex flooring (pull up carpet, fix subfloor, and put down new flooring)
6. cleaning projects all around church (pews, shelves, closets, etc.)
7. Write "Thinking of You" and other encouragements to soldiers, college students, and shut ins.
 
There are also some projects that we will be working on at Good Shepherd in Wright City
1. parking stops need to be lined up and pinned down to keep them from moving
2. landscaping in front of building
3. Removing weeds from playground

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MEN'S RETREAT WAS AWESOME AS USUAL!!

Mark your calendars for September 25-27, 2015!!  Make plans to attend!  You can go golfing, fishing, shooting, hiking, biking, brid watching, or napping!

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 A NEW BEGINNER KARATE CLASS IS STARTING AT ST. JOHN'S THIS THURSDAY!!!

Check out all the info on the brand new  website!!  There are also intermediate and advanced classed available.  

http://familykaratecenterwest.webs.com 
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A NEW BIBLE STUDY ON HEAVEN WILL BE STARTING THIS WEEKEND!!  COME AND CHECK IT OUT! 

 On Oct. 4 and 5 we will be starting a new study titled  "What is heaven like?"  This study will be based on the Scriptures first and foremost and we will talk about the glory we will experience and the face to face contact we will have with Jesus. 

 

Get out of the dark and into the light when it comes to your knowledge about paradise!  Come and get all your questions answered! 

 

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GROUP BUS TRIP FOR SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6 TO TOUR THE CATHOLIC RECTORY IN HERMANN AND GO TO OSAGE BEACH FOR DINNER AND A CHRISTMAS SHOW AT MAIN STREET MUSIC HALL!!
They are in need of more people to sign up!!  If they don't get enough people the trip will have to be canceled!!  Anyone can go!

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Kelsey updates our website weekly!  Check it out!!  www.stjohnwarrenton.org

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PRAYER REQUESTS:  (If you have a prayer request please reply to this email or call me at 636-359-1061)

For DENISE SCHLESSELMANN and her family as they mourn the loss of her grandpa and as she is far away from her family at this time.

 

For Mary Aubuchon's sister, MARCILLE FORD, who is gravely ill and may be nearing the end of her life.

 

For MARY STEMLER as she fell and suffered several cracked ribs.

 

For BILL WOOLF as he recovers from a broken ankle.  He is working with it.

For FRANCES LAMKIN, Sandra Perricone's aunt, who is dealing with many health issues.

 

For RICHARD LAMKIN, Sandra's uncle and Frances's husband who has been diagnosed with cancer.

 

For our NATION'S MILITARY LEADERS AND SOLDIERS as they figure out what to do about the imminent threats from ISIS.

 

For HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF CHRISTIANS IN THE MIDDLE EAST AND AFRICA, who are being persecuted to the point of death for their faith. 

 

 

 

 

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